If I were selfish enough I wouldn’t have come work today anymore. I’ve been crying so hard I feel that someone’s been gouging my eyes out.
I really don’t know why I’m crying. I think I’m just really uber scared.
I feel so betrayed. I thought I was resigning, but it feels like I was fired.
Please stop crying …
It’s time to make some serious changes now, and you know that. They’re not the kind you can make overnight, and you know that. The good news is that you won’t be in a hurry to accomplish this task.
There’s something kind of strange going on in your immediate surroundings.
Change is necessary for several reasons, and you completely understand that. After all, change is second nature to you — the more sudden the better. Still, even you occasionally have a problem adapting to something startling that’s handed down from on high — especially if it happens without your input. Fortunately, everything that’s going on now was more or less personally orchestrated by you. Count your blessings and resolve to be patient if it’s not always this way.
IN RETROSPECT:
I just found out that starting Monday I’ll be a jobless wannabe makeup artist. I was let go one month in advance, all the while I thought I’ll be here till the end of August. I’m happy and excited to embrace this freedom. I’m sad cause I know I’ll be missing the people I’ve worked with who are now my friends, specially Raymund and Jay. And I’m scared cause I don’t know what I’ll be doing in the next few months… Pray for me, my friends.
Now I’ll be all honest.
With my current weight loss, I’ve always been confronted with how much I actually weigh. Everyone wants to know the real score. I always managed to let it go by saying I’ve lost about 30-35 lbs since I started my low-carb diet last December.
Now, I’ve decided to tell the truth about my weight.
When I graduated in high school I reached up to a hundred and 25 lbs. I decided to take exercise seriously and after just about 2-3 months, I went down to 110-115. I stayed that way sometimes only reaching 125lbs during holiday season.
In 1998, during our grueling 3 week Broad Ass application, I think I went down to 110 and stayed that way until a few months after. Slowly I added a few pounds each month.
Come 1999, I was in a happy ecstatic mood (that’s how love affects me) and I couldn’t eat ‘cause I always felt full and I’m always moving about and smiling (theory: smiling can keep your weight low). After less than 3 months, my whirlwind of a love life left my life as quick as it came leaving me feeling so empty inside. I had to fill myself not with love anymore (because the only love I wanted at that time has left me for good) but with FOOD, BEER, and satisfying every indulgence I thought I needed.
From being a slimmer 125, my heaviest weight was last December: a whopping 165 lbs!!! That was crazy. I’ve always wanted to lose the weight I have so gastronomically gained. Each year, every summer, I torture myself for not being able to wear swimsuit when I so love the beach. So every year, I promised to lose weight so that I can wear a nice enough swimsuit the following year. The diets would last about 2 days to a week maximum. I never followed through.
Last year, Cheryl Ingles, my dear inspiration for this great weight loss, slimmed down so obviously making me the only fat girl in our apartment. That was sucky. However, instead of just sulking like my old self would probably do, I promised myself to do everything possible to lose weight.
Last November, I tried to control what I ate, only eating yoghurt and stuff, I even had a calendar and a list of food I can and cannot eat. This didn’t work. It was too difficult to follow. It was too time consuming to think about the food that is being served, if it’s a yes or a no. And then, by December, I had to have a confrontation with my own devils. I promised to give myself a break and once and for all just try to stick to a simple diet – I don’t eat rice on a regular basis, only when I’m at my parent’s place (because I didn’t want them to know I was dieting, although they’ve noticed already, they just always wonder how).
And last January, I started swimming everyday in the community pool since it started being open until 11pm. However, after a month long of commitment to this exercise, I noticed zits growing in places I never thought possible – even my face was starting to breakout. I didn’t swim for a while and the zits dried up. As a conclusion, the exercise was totally cut off.
But I have started losing already, it was too late to back out. By May, a few of my friends have started noticing the weight loss (duh! I’ve noticed it since January).
To cut this story short now that July is almost over, I’m down to 132 lbs. When I reach 120, I’ll be satisfied, but of course it won’t hurt to aim for my ideal weight which is 105 lbs (I think.).
PS:
My advice to those who are trying to lose weight:
1) Don’t expect to see results immediately, it takes time and a lot of patience.
2) When you’re craving, indulge it. The first bite is almost always enough already.
3) Don’t get me wrong: you can eat rice just not a lot and not that often, substitute it with whole grains. Whenever I feel like eating Jollibee Chickenjoy, I go for it and I just have to have it with rice or else it’s no fun.
4) And I’m not endorsing or anything but the Nesvita Pro-digestion and the Nesvita Cereal Drink really, really work. A healthy digestive system work wonders.
5) And another thing that works: Fall in love. It’s the best surefire diet and it’s healthy for the heart and mind.
After one year as a teacher, and several years juggling post-production and production management, I asked myself yet again, is this what I want to be doing forever? Is this my passion? Is this it? I need something else, something more creative and less managerial…But am I up for it?
I have always loved makeup. I thought it was the karengkeng in me at 6 years old that would make me sneakily rummage my mom’s drawers just to play with
her eye shadow palettes. It was also the kakiyan of highschool that made me go through my sister’s makeup kit without her knowing. And then the lady in me made me want makeup whenever relatives asked what I wanted brought for me from California. Now that I think about it, I never really pursued makeup artistry because I never thought it can be a real job. I thought it was all about Mother Ricky Reyes doing odd makeovers to unwarned victims, I never realized the art that it involves.
I’ve been tapped - or should I say volunteered - to do makeup for Broad Ass plays. Some of my friends would make me do their face every once in a while. And my mom would always make me go home whenever she had to attend a wedding. I love it. Receiving unwarranted gratitude from people I’ve done makeup for were exhilarating moments. I just love it. And this one I’m willing to do forever.
However, I know I don’t know enough about makeup to make it my prime source of income. And breaking in in the makeup industry is a tough call. Just in time, in the midst of my career turmoil and soon after I’ve told my boss that I wanted to move to another industry, I called up Franck Provost and asked if they really offer a course on makeup. And so they did, in fact, the next batch was to start in two weeks’ time. Now, where do I get the tuition fee? Luckily, I’ve a very supportive brother in Vegas who sent me the money. Whew!
The two-month-24-session makeup course offered by the ICI Training Center of Franck Provost started last July 4, 2005. And I’ve enjoyed every moment that I spend in that classroom. It is the force that makes me want to wake up early during Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I am so loving it more and more!
The course will culminate in a photoshoot for our own portfolio to give us a headstart in the big world of makeup. Whoa! It’s a big scary step. I’ll be jobless by the end of August. Hopefully by September, I’ll be able to get makeup gigs. Keeping my fingers crossed!
A yae yae! Yes I succomb succumb to blogging. At least let myself try it and give writing a chance. Good luck to me, is all I can say and maybe hope that even just my close friends will pay my blog a visit and maybe give a comment here and there.
Actually, there was more to friendster blog that pushed me to sign up — it’s being able to keep tons of photos in my album, heheh!
So if you don’t like my writing just enjoy my face and all the other pictures that I will post.
Anyway, I welcome you to my confused state of mind and confused way of writing. I can never focus on a single topic when I write, so I guess whoever reads this will be left baffled as to what I want to say. (Really, now, is this a way to encourage readers?)
I titled my blog chasing the wind, because that’s what I want to do now. I wanna be able to chase the wind and be able to run with it. It’s time for a career change, this time I’m pursuing a passion…
