Always in pursuit of something, that’s my state of mind.

I couldn’t finish it… I’ll just post whatever I have here before the New Year thang gets stale.

With the risk of sounding so cliché, I must say that this last year is one big roller coaster ride…

The year started like any normal day. I had a stable job which I didn’t plan to leave yet. I still did the Fiestamazing tour in

Cebu

, Ilo-ilo, and Aklan. I got to interview Bamboo in Ilo-ilo (Sigh! Heart!) A scrapbook I made for the Fiestamazing tour was shown on TV, Yipee! I invested my Christmas ’04 bonus to have my teeth (bite) fixed via braces. I made a wise decision to not eat rice and/or any refined carbohydrates. I regularly exercised in the condo’s swimming pool. At this point, everything is just as it should be.

By February, my birthday went by as usual, no big surprises, was greeted by my friends whom I know would remember. Had our annual Feb gurls celebration with only one major hitch – Mel Laurel has gotten married and is living abroad. I got a raise which was more than what I hoped for. Praxi was closing a deal on making a music video for Smart – my first really big production work. Valentine’s Day was still spent alone. I met someone special, although not physically present in my life. More things are falling into place.

I didn’t fly kites this March as my string was being cut and rewound in all directions. I could afford to go out with Sunshine regularly, having a blast, meeting new friends. I fell in love with Reggae. First time, I ever had a crush on a musician – someone from the band that plays in Xaymaca during Saturday nights (Bamboo is a different league.) I reacquainted with an old “friend” from college.  The music video preparations were slowly shattering my ground on becoming a really good Production Manager and becoming a respected Producer as a career goal. I have started reconsidering my priorities and the career path I want to embark upon. I also quit swimming.

April, with Murphy’s help, made such a big fool out of me. The music video prep wasn’t going as smoothly as could be… the budget wasn’t at its most ideal status… everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. I got through it scarred but still standing, although affixed with a life changing realization — I cannot imagine myself happily doing production management for the rest of my life. I saw my old college “friend” and was slightly disappointed by how things turned out. I have admitted to myself that I once fell in love with a gay man. I knew I need to take a break.

By May, plans of resigning were starting to form in my mind. I realized I would love to do something freelance and that make-up has been something that I really love doing. My not-physically-present-special-friend has become a staple in my daily life — it was the only thing that made me want to wake up in the mornings.

June was as hot as it can get. I made a decision to leave Praxi. I found out that working for a friend is one thing, but telling your friend that you quit is one MAJOR thing. Wanda took it amazingly light, only making sure that I look for someone else to replace me before I leave. I gave Wanda up to the end of August as my last day in Praxi. I scouted for potential replacement Production Manager did my interviews fixed the Production Handbook. Nearly the end of June, I got in touch with Franck Provost which supposedly held classes in make-up. I was told they were starting classes come July. With the help of my brother, I was able to enroll immediately. Good thing not much was happening in my Department which allowed me to leave work early every Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

There wasn’t as much showers when the rainy month of July arrived. Make-up classes have started and I am learning that make-up is really what I want to do as a career. I enjoy every time I spend in make-up class… Everything was going as planned. A project for McDonald’s came in, I got to powder Kenneth S. Yang’s face (hihihi, such a cutie President and Daddy).  However, before the month finally ended a typhoon came with such big impact that it put my life to a stunning halt. The newly hired HR guy informed me that the next day is my last day at work. OH MY GOD! All my pay computations will not balance with the extreme expenses I am expecting to sustain my make-up kit. I am blown away!!! It wasn’t just that this meant no money, I felt utterly betrayed.

August was as hot and cold as the weather. I was in a constant balancing act. I have predicted that I will not be able to pay rent for the next months. The major concern for this month is the up and coming finals and portfolio shoot. During the final hands-on my model Thea Ong was given much praise for her pretty looks and of course much praise was given to the make-up I did on her, hehehe. For my portfolio, I had 2 models and made 3 different looks. I think it was a success, I got over the exhaustive pressure that was knocking my back every so often.

The much awaited September came but didn’t go as planned too. The person I was expecting to pay me a visit couldn’t make it. Sigh! A few make-up gigs came and went but not enough to call it a living. I was a beggar for anything. It’s good that I’m blessed with great friends. Nana’s stash of freebies has kept me alive. Mommy Rovi and Redge have adopted me when I really really need a soup kitchen to feed me, in exchange of doing all the cooking for them. When I feel I’ve exhausted their generosity too much I go to

Panay

where Shine, Aids, Tsok, and Herbert welcome me to their home.

October offered the best, so far, I did my first make-up gig for a magazine. Wow!